While coaching a couple from devastating infidelity to renewal, trust and desire, they shared their increased anxiety, tension and stress, being home together during covid19. Fortunately, they have the tools and practices I taught them to move back to connection, communication and desire.
These are challenging times, indeed, when relationship dynamics are affected, not only due to concerns of health and safety, also being in close proximity with your partner 24/7.
Spending so much time at home together could be a crossroad for your relationship: is it becoming a crisis or is it an opportunity? Either case, here are four ways toward creating peace, harmony and openness, so that you can overcome tension, stress, frustration and avoid spiralling out of control.
1. Focus on body sensations
Pause, focus inward and breathe. Feel into your body and scan for sensations of discomfort, resistance, numbness. Breathe slowly and deeply into these areas, allowing thoughts and emotions to arise, then gently let them go. Continue focusing on the sensations with curiosity, compassion and acceptance. You may find they could change, or start to ease away, or not. All is welcome and you’re practicing awareness of your body sensations. Over time, this leads to tapping into the wisdom of your body.
2. Eye gazing
Eye gazing is an interesting and intimate exploration with your partner (and yourself) to build connection. While continuously looking into each others’ eyes, focus half your attention on them and half on yourself. It’s not a staring contest and you can blink. You might laugh or break eye contact, that’s okay, just continue gazing and noticing. Try for 5 minutes and build up to 20 minutes or longer. Afterwards, share about each of your experiences.
3. What can I offer you right now?
One partner and the other receives. The giver asks, “What can I offer you right now?” (And no other words) The receiver feels into their body for what they desire at that moment and speaks it. It could be hair stroking, massaging the foot, whispering compliments, being cuddled–anything the giver can provide, unless physically impossible. Every 30-60 seconds, the giver asks and the receiver replies, which could be continuing the same or change to something different. After 5 minutes, the partners switch. Afterwards, each partner shares what they experienced as giver and receiver.
4. Reach out for support
And to support you even more, I’m opening up space for 5 free introductory “From Arghhh! to Hell Yeah” sessions this week to help you explore deeper connection, better communication and juicier sex life. Sessions are run by Zoom for privacy and safety. Try out a free session by clicking here.
I would love your comments on your experience of the above practices. Wishing you the best, as we move through this time!
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