It starts with yourself: self-love. You’re worthy and deserving of love. You’re perfect at your core and completely lovable. You are love. Unconditionally.
Here’s the serious stuff. How we love ourselves and others depends a lot on our life experiences with our primary caregivers, especially in early childhood, ages 0-6. Even if our parents or caregivers were super attentive and extremely loving, no one can ever meet our needs 100% of the time.
And when our needs weren’t met as babies and children, we justified to ourselves that we’re not worthy. It’s our mechanism for survival, we’re dependent on them. And survival is the most fundamental of life. All this happened unconsciously in our primal brain. Our primitive brain that regulates our body functions for survival and governs 95% of what we do during the day, when we’re not aware.
Another thing that occurs in our childhood is that we get certain messages with the best of intentions to help us socialize and get along with others. Girls might have received messages like don’t be smarter than boys. Or not to be so physical, instead use words. Yet another common message is don’t talk back; be polite, deferential and well-behaved. And if it’s not how we really feel, we end up losing parts of ourselves.
So here we are, as adults and we don’t feel whole, compensating by overdoing or overhaving. Unhealthily, it might be overachieving by working long hours. Having that insatiable desire to climb to the top at any cost. The inability to say no or to put up healthy boundaries. Overconsumption of material things. Or have an overwhelming need for a partner to complete us…
And we can’t stop, even when we have this or done that, it’s still not enough. Because deep down, we picked up the belief that we’re not enough, in order to survive.
The good news is we can consciously unpack it and journey towards our being pure love. The first step in loving your whole self is to be aware that much of your thoughts and behavior are unconscious patterns and loops, following your beliefs.
As you go through your day, see if you can observe yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, your actions, especially those you don’t feel aligned with. Being aware with love and compassion. Being curious without judgment. Acknowledging it, knowing it’s there because your body is functioning as it’s meant to be. Protecting you. Keeping you safe.
You may release through your body by breathing it out, sounding it out and by shaking it off. Remembering that under many layers, your core essence is perfect.
And just as you become aware of what doesn’t serve…and here’s the playful, spontaneous, fun stuff…you can also be consciously aware of what truly makes you joyful. What inspires you. What makes your heart sing, puts you in flow. Feel those sensations in your body. Follow your body and let it express whatever comes up! Smiling, laughing, moving, dancing. Celebrating and consciously loving yourself!
Learn more about the embodiment of release and celebrations through our playshops.
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